-Sometimes you're the bird...sometimes you're the statue (or helpless passerby)...and sometimes you're the innocent bus girl in a sea full of empty seats and the old guy with the revolving left eye, despite where his right eye is looking, chooses to sit next to you....despite the derelict bus, complete with rolling tumbleweed...*Silence*...
Speaking of strange men on public transport... I was on the way back from the London office and I was sitting opposite a man with very long legs. You'd think that once you realised that you were encroaching on someone's personal space you'd move, no such luck. Unfortunately his legs were so long the his knees were either side of mine...The other unfortunate thing was that my right leg got cramp and I had to jerk it out to relieve it...go figure...
Oh hello Shams! Fancy meeting you here. Well, it's not really now is it? Not two minutes ago I sent you a text and a wall post on the Book of Face (see what I did there?) telling you that I posted a "post". In eager anticipation you rushed to the computer to read the words of bitter/pearl-esque wisdom from my keen mind and obedient fingertips...and here we are, Funny ol' world isn't it?
I am shocked and ashamed that our mutual Leonard (AKA-Ieuan for anyone who isn't fluent in "Rachica") doesn't like Stovies Pie?.. Nothing short of despicable really. Leonard, I am ashamed. You are a very luck filled man to have had such a wonderful morsel of delicious food. Hang your head boy. Hang. Your. Head.
Here is a tale of The Laptops Three...A collection of short stories about the female Boss...
Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I shall begin...
Once upon a time there was a lowly worker called Temp, who was happy*ish* in her job. ("That's not happy" I hear you say...well, it's happy with an ish, and she was content). She would do her best to run around and to please. Her boss was small and friendly. She had a pleasant manner about her and a forgetful type head.
One day Boss told Temp to bring the laptops (plural noted please) over to a different building...on the way over she was talking to a lady called Fellow Employee. Now Fellow was chatting to Boss about electrical beauty products and Boss was both entertained and distracted. Temp had three heavy laptops slung about her stooping frame and staggered across campus. When they arrived at their destination..Boss looked at Temp surprised, "We only need the one". The words hung in the air like mist over Glencoe...Temp collapsed to the floor in slow motion. The end.
In all seriousness though, I do like my job and it does have the odd occasion of making me laugh. I was working in the law buildings for a few weeks doing some Visa work and on my last day I was asked to clear the office completely...printer and all. I had to box everything up and wheel it back to the office (which is completely across campus). In this struggle I was pushing this heavy box full of printer, with other boxes on top balancing on a trolley like contraption and throwing all of my weight behind it. In fact I was very much horizontal to the pavement with the effort. People stopped to look, and chuckle and then moved on. Right as I entered the effort and was overcome with the sheer power on my own womanly awesomeness, "The perfect bathroom trip" song came on my MP3 player...
I could not help myself. I burst out laughing and blew like a whale...the boxes tumbled. The picture of me walking into a very quiet office, heaving these boxes all the way across campus for a woman who is half my size, with that song playing just over took my senses and I lost control of my composure for a good five minutes. Ahhh.....my madness made me thing of you.
You know what? I actually have Dave and Andy's number if you'd like it. They are angels of the auto world. I love them both dearly and will always have a special place for them in my heart...Especially Andy...and Dave...I just love his face! Those are two characteristics I want in my future husband...Andy...and Dave.
The "Dandy" gene...(see what I did there? How clever is your fruity?)
Caitlin asks me to wake her up whenever I come up to bed, so she knows I'm in the room. She has taken to putting her her index finger up to me (in a "don't worry" type fashion) until she's lucid enough to say goodnight...cracks me up every time.
Well friend on the subject of goodnight...I shall read my letter from Dearest one more time over ice cream and hit the sack.
I love you muchly, sorry the post is so short Fruity.
Love,
Your Fruity Snaffs
x
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