...I'll lay you down in a bed roses, I'll sink you in the river, at dawn and sail you away to the words of fantastic thoughts from my head. You like that mountain ninja? You like the taste of my bronze sword?!
Okay, I'm sorry. I am sorry that it has been so long since I have last blogged. There is no excuse, other than the fact that whenever I had the time... you were home. Did I hear someone say pointless? Yes, me.
CHILAQUILES!! I have never been more happy to reply to your posts when they have such inspired titles! A bulwark is a wall? Who knew?...Oh my gosh there is far too much to reply to in your posts! Why did you do 3? I mean, I didn't reply. Get a microscope and look at the hints Sherlock! In good Lara Croft style, time was stolen from me and no matter how many times I locked the groaning butler in the freezer, I had no way of getting it back. But guess what? Now that you are married I find myself with a huge void...so guess who is going to blog post drop-kick you?...Yeah, still not me. I have coursework.
So, about your wedding, it was a fantastic day wasn't it? It was chilly...but no doubt from the warmcuddlyglow-stares you and Ieuan were swapping you didn't feel the cold did you?
Anyway, whilst you were getting lost in his eyes you missed out on some serious news. I have now usurped you in the Cain household (children-wise). I am now their favourite and they love me. They were telling me this as we were getting ice cream. I'm going to spend a weekend over there for a play date. That's right my friend. I have a play date. Don't cry.
Haha you also missed my Ever After moment, "Prince Henry: Am I to understand that you find me arrogant?"...(What Danielle would have said if she were me: "Yes, and it's very annoying *and stupidly attractive*") Remind me to tell you about that some other time. Seth and Kirsty know what I mean.
I'm trying to think of things that have happened to me since you've left...and even now my mind is blank. My life is interesting I swear, but nothing blog worthy of yet.
Someone said to me today, "Text-bomb her. Tell her you miss her". Hahaha can you imagine?! Me texting you to say that? Absurd. So I whispered back (in my head), "I'm not sure that you know this...but we share a brain. She knows."
I have heard that you are poorly! As am I!! Oh the sadness! I walked home from work almost 2 weeks ago and as it turns out I have formed into a cross between a horse and a husky... Horsky... anyway... Doctors tomorrow. Hopefully Doctorette Antilla can save me.
It may have come to your attention that we had the BYU singers staying at our house Thursday night. Which meant I had to give up my room, and my beds to some girls. They were a really nice bunch actually and joined us for midnight ice cream when they got back. But nevertheless, I had the living room floor, which I don’t mind so much, what I did mind was my awakening.
Picture this: You are waking up all blurry-eyed and dropping in and out of sleep, you can faintly hear Sam and Caitlin around me and Mum and Dad. Nice, no?
But as I finally came around my ears fuzzily heard Dad saying something about a visitor…
And then hearing, “I have sisters, don’t worry. I have seen it all!”
My sleepy mind thought, “Whoa now. I don't know who you are just yet, But I'm pretty sure that I am not your sister…so it’s irrelevant whether or not you’ve seen it all because you have sisters...that is no excuse to see me in whatever state I am in...because I'm not your sister!!!”
One eye reluctantly pealed back to see Tim Kay sitting on the two-seated sofa. My sleeping mind whirled as I tried to bury myself into our carpeted floor…As I usually sleep in a large shirt…and the zip to the sleeping bag I was in often broke… I tried to casually sense if my legs were bare or not…because if they were…and Tim didn’t move, I could very well end up being in that sleeping bag for a very long time. Mercifully I had the insight the night before to wear my Bermuda legged tracksuit trousers. I still wasn’t totally comfortable with “bear hunt-ing” (stumble trip stumble trip) my way out of my confused array of sleeping bag, blankets and pillows with him 2 feet away from me. I made some confused sleepy mumbles to make it seem like I was asleep, and incoherent, but my mind was alive with how this would make a fantastic Miranda episode. I felt like poking my head though the blankets and pillows to throw a sarcastic and slightly terrified look to the invisible camera, followed by a little shake of my head and a “this cannot be happening to me” whimper. But at the time there was no such saving grace to make this situation even slightly funny. A few seemingly witty remarks were made by the recently multiplied men in the household about teenage laziness as they walked out of the room for breakfast…little did they know I had mapped out a battle plan in just a few, world record long, minutes to ensure my safe passage out of there…either by making him leave, or getting myself out. All of these, minus number 3 and 6, require total body and face coverage whilst remaining immobile…
1. Cry. It is a truth universally acknowledged that weeping women scare most single men.
2. Pull a Rob. German chanting, Russian threats.
3. Project Pony-launch. I was tantalisingly close to Caitin’s pink play horse…No, you’re right. Bad idea.
4. But I’m a Gilmore. No one can argue with myself like I can. Voices and everything.
5. Ghost voice. “Timothy…TIMothy…TIMOTHY!!”
6. Staring competition-...almost this the portrait from Scooby Doo that stands in the haunted Mansion. That would promote some awkward shuffling out of the room.
7. Recite “Bee I’m expecting you”
8. 6th sense. “I see dead people”
…See? This took me minutes. Teenage Laziness indeed, teenage planning by stratagem. I think so!
I appreciate this isn’t a long one, I’m sorry. But nothing huge has happened to me. I’ll play chicken on the A140 or something this week so I have something to report.
I’ll love you and leave you.
Reply or better…
Yours,
JessP.S. Got a hand full of barbie
