"Have you ever had mad cow disease?" "Twice last week, and my colouring was great!" (Rachel)

So I've never had mad cow disease but our titles don't always HAVE to be related, do they??
Did you know that Lauren Graham (Lorelai) actually dated Matt Blucas? She is now with Peter Krause...I think you can tell her kind of guy and it is similar to Lorelai's, I think. Anyway....

I am currently sitting in the university of Bath library under the false name and ID card of Ieuan Guy. Shhhh...don't tell anyone. Thankfully, it's a swipe machine rather than armed personnel who check the validity of the ID, or I would be well and truly had by now. As I type, I am sneaking giant white chocolate buttons from my secret stash of chocolatey goodness. Ieuan can't believe what's happened to me! I've gone from "I'll take a satsuma, thanks" to "I could probably eat that whole bar of galaxy cookie crumble to myself". Ah, what those monthly hormones do to a gal.

I want you to know that I am so excited to see you tomorrow. I remember when Ieuan would come to visit me in Lancaster and I would want the whole of the friday to prepare for his arrival that evening..I would take so much pride in doing the shopping and the cleaning, organising everything, scrubbing everything so that when he came, I was the organised domestic goddess I wanted to be. Does it surprise you to know that I feel the same level of excitement to see you? I am just as excited to make my domestic-y preparations! I can't wait for our soup and toast supper.

There's something very comforting about the word supper, don't you think? It denotes firesides, stories, warm slippers, cosy PJs and light, warm nibbles, like soup. It's very much a winter thing. I just cannot wait to pick you up from the station and drive you to my little house! There, we will sit, with Husbandy on our lovely cosy couch, and, bathed in the gentle lamp-lit hues of our living room, nestled in a blanket, we will sip our soup and dip our toast and revel in the joys of good company!

I have made a wonderful friend at the museum....Penny Scott Barret.  She and I had a joint induction when I first went to the museum and we have been firm friends ever since. She is about the same age as Emily Gilmore and is like her in all the best ways; glamorous, enjoys high society, has a beautiful big house, wears lovely clothes, speaks very nicely, drives nice cars...but is as down to earth, generous and enthusiastic as anyone you could hope to meet! She is so funny. She and I giggle like school girls and she managed to convince me to swap my shift at the museum from fridays to thursdays so I can be with her. She is so great. It's so funny because it reminds me of the friendship I have with Pat, Gil and Margaret at Morrisons. I would do anything for those ladies and they would do the same for me. It just goes to show that friendship knows no boundaries! I am so thankful for somerfields and for budgens that have helped me make the most wonderful friendships with people I would not have met in any other way!! =)

So, I heard something the other day that was pretty darn funny. Some comedian was saying that when someone is stabbed to death, a lengthy investigation ensues, and police officers spend months trying to find the killer. When you drive in a bus lane, your photograph is taken, and the have in mailed to your house within 48 hours. Moral of the story? Make sure you are stabbed in a bus lane! Funny guy. It's true though...if violent crime could be dealt with the same severity as parking on double yellows or speeding, the most dangerous people on earth would be caught instantly. Unfortunately, I don't think it's possible to operate that way but...it made for a funny joke. As far as comedians go, I still love Nina Conti and the scottish granny....."Schooom!" Hilarious.

Well, sorry this isn't very interesting but you are coming to visit tomorrow. I will just finish with an artistic creation of mine. Hope you like!
All my love,
Shams.
X

"The bottom line is that too many birds are landing atop the streetlights and relieving themselves on helpless passersby. And I daresay that some of these birds seem to be doing it on purpose."- (Jessica)

-Sometimes you're the bird...sometimes you're the statue (or helpless passerby)...and sometimes you're the innocent bus girl in a sea full of empty seats and the old guy with the revolving left eye, despite where his right eye is looking, chooses to sit next to you....despite the derelict bus, complete with rolling tumbleweed...*Silence*...
Speaking of strange men on public transport... I was on the way back from the London office and I was sitting opposite a man with very long legs. You'd think that once you realised that you were encroaching on someone's personal space you'd move, no such luck. Unfortunately his legs were so long the his knees were either side of mine...The other unfortunate thing was that my right leg got cramp and I had to jerk it out to relieve it...go figure...

Oh hello Shams! Fancy meeting you here. Well, it's not really now is it? Not two minutes ago I sent you a text and a wall post on the Book of Face (see what I did there?) telling you that I posted a "post". In eager anticipation you rushed to the computer to read the words of bitter/pearl-esque wisdom from my keen mind and obedient fingertips...and here we are, Funny ol' world isn't it?

I am shocked and ashamed that our mutual Leonard (AKA-Ieuan for anyone who isn't fluent in "Rachica") doesn't like Stovies Pie?.. Nothing short of despicable really. Leonard, I am ashamed. You are a very luck filled man to have had such a wonderful morsel of delicious food. Hang your head boy. Hang. Your. Head.

Here is a tale of The Laptops Three...A collection of short stories about the female Boss...
Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I shall begin...
Once upon a time there was a lowly worker called Temp, who was happy*ish* in her job. ("That's not happy" I hear you say...well, it's happy with an ish, and she was content). She would do her best to run around and to please. Her boss was small and friendly. She had a pleasant manner about her and a forgetful type head.
One day Boss told Temp to bring the laptops (plural noted please) over to a different building...on the way over she was talking to a lady called Fellow Employee. Now Fellow was chatting to Boss about electrical beauty products and Boss was both entertained and distracted. Temp had three heavy laptops slung about her stooping frame and staggered across campus. When they arrived at their destination..Boss looked at Temp surprised, "We only need the one". The words hung in the air like mist over Glencoe...Temp collapsed to the floor in slow motion. The end.

In all seriousness though, I do like my job and it does have the odd occasion of making me laugh. I was working in the law buildings for a few weeks doing some Visa work and on my last day I was asked to clear the office completely...printer and all. I had to box everything up and wheel it back to the office (which is completely across campus). In this struggle I was pushing this heavy box full of printer, with other boxes on top balancing on a trolley like contraption and throwing all of my weight behind it. In fact I was very much horizontal to the pavement with the effort. People stopped to look, and chuckle and then moved on. Right as I entered the effort and was overcome with the sheer power on my own womanly awesomeness, "The perfect bathroom trip" song came on my MP3 player...
I could not help myself. I burst out laughing and blew like a whale...the boxes tumbled. The picture of me walking into a very quiet office, heaving these boxes all the way across campus for a woman who is half my size, with that song playing just over took my senses and I lost control of my composure for a good five minutes. Ahhh.....my madness made me thing of you.

You know what? I actually have Dave and Andy's number if you'd like it. They are angels of the auto world. I love them both dearly and will always have a special place for them in my heart...Especially Andy...and Dave...I just love his face! Those are two characteristics I want in my future husband...Andy...and Dave.
The "Dandy" gene...(see what I did there? How clever is your fruity?)

Caitlin asks me to wake her up whenever I come up to bed, so she knows I'm in the room. She has taken to putting her her index finger up to me (in a "don't worry" type fashion) until she's lucid enough to say goodnight...cracks me up every time.

Well friend on the subject of goodnight...I shall read my letter from Dearest one more time over ice cream and hit the sack.

I love you muchly, sorry the post is so short Fruity.

Love,
Your Fruity Snaffs
x