Hello Waffle,
SO....You'll never guess the morning I've had. Nope. No guessing, so I shall tell you. I shove a £20 note into my back pocket on my run for the bus, the bus I manage missing, and reach into my back pocket for the twenty and find that it's disappeared, en route I suspect.I finally got on the bus to greet the world's slowest driver...I could walk on my little fingers faster than that bus was going. I finally made the judgement call to take a cab from the city (I secretly had the 'Sherlock' serial killer taxi episode in my head as I got in...). But the guy was nice enough and said to me as I got in, "In a hurry miss?". Which made me smile as I felt almost regal...I felt like a little Miss Bennett travelling to Pemberley. In short, fate steals £20 notes from your back pockets, makes you late and gives you a decrepit bus driver just because she can. Then, she throws you a bone...and calls you Miss.
So as part of my job I have to see foreign students on a regular basis, on average we meet 480 a session. Lots of people. We have to take down and update their contact details. So it was during this interaction that I asked a student for his number...and he hands me his mobile to take down his number and as my hand holds his phone..*exhale dramatically*..he holds my hand.Picture this if you will: Phone, my hand holding phone, his hand holding both. My hand was a hostage, a hand hostage. It was the filling in an awkward hand sandwich! I stared at the mess of hands in complete disbelief for a little while, looked at him, back at the hands and tried to subtly shake his hand off. Then not so subtly shake his hand off...I guess he thought I was having a fit because he gave me the most confused look. Eventually it dawned on me that the faster I took the number, the quicker my hand would be released from this madman. What's with people? Don't they know?! In England that is not okay behavior. I don't know whether England is an uptight private culture naturally or if it is just how I am. But it is now a new chapter in my book: "Culture tips 101". Chapter 3: When entering a society that you are poorly informed on, it is best to not touch any hands that don't belong to you. Why do things like this always happen to me? People always get involved in my space. Is it just me? I'm to face tattoo...and by face tattoo I mean...
I am a thoughtful guy, I think about a lot of things...I am a thoughtful guy, I think a lot of thoughts about a lot of things- Have you ever thought about where your life would be if you left 10 minutes early to the activity where you met Ieu....what would you be doing now? Our lives would both be REALLY different. Food for thought.
Oh dear dear Shams, I am deeply sorry that you find yourself in the middle of the weight loss pool. But may I be the first to say ...*hits lights and shines torch under face*... "Welcome". Weight loss is a joyful and rewarding process...when it's opposite day and you're in a room full of clown mirrors that make you look like a string bean. Oh my sweet Rachel...you'd eat oaty pillows, which had a closer likeness to cardboard than a breakfast cereal, just to sacrifice 4 calories and reduced sugar content?! Those 4 calories are to stop you from running across the room with your tongue on the carpet, like a lawnmower. The true secret to dieting is not to deny yourself 4 calories worth of taste. But take heart friend, the slower you loose weight the slower you put it on...or so I'm told.
What you had to say about Trowbrige's strange mix of beings made me laugh. What kind of person dye's a dog's hair? Someone with either a youtube account...or no freeview tv. I've been strange beings, every time I travel past Anglia Square. There is a shop down there called, "Aladdin's Cave". It has a beautiful oak vanity set in the window...with a cage and a stuffed snake resting on the top. Never a lack of entertainment. I also saw a guy that looked like the Hippie troubadour from GG down in Anglia Sq. Felt like whistling him a little tune about working in a Kinkos...or growing your own veg. Sweet guy.
I am truly (not really all that) sorry for the voicemail I just left. I knew I saw that actress somewhere and it suddenly came to me. I had to share this glorious moment, moment of gloryment if you will, with someone. 1:00am in the morning or not. You love it really loin fruit, fruit that you are.WWTBFCD?? She would love it. I would have called her but alas, we don't keep in contact since the night terror episode of '04. I digress...
I have to journey to the land of nod...nod here being sleep and not the "you can leave your hat on" nod.
Don't be like that, wipe the brazzlefrat and bendelschnitz expression off your face.
I love you Montgom.
Say hello to M.L for me....or beardy monroe...either. xxx
P.s. “Hey, did anyone ever think that maybe Sylvia Plath wasn’t crazy. She was just cold!"
Tuesday 29 January 2013
Sunday 27 January 2013
"Well, Taylor, I'm a 2 inch kinda guy."
An inch is a deceptive amount, you know. Whenever I watch these weight loss programmes, and they announce that someone has lost an inch off their waist, jaws drop, gasps are heard and tears spring to the eyes.
"PAH!" I think. "1 inch?! Are they for real?!"
Now I am in the whole weight loss zone and, if I'm honest, an inch might be a pretty nice amount to come off my waist! I've not really been measuring inches, etc. Just weight and at 9.8 1/2, I feel pretty good about myself. I made a break through with Special K though. Indeed, I broke through the Special K barrier!! I went shopping at Tesco to replenish my cereal stock. I dashed there because Special K was on offer and I wanted to stock up before the offer ends. What did I discover?? I could get the same amount of similar but healthier flakes for less money!! That's right. 4 calories less, much less sugar and saturated fat per bowl! I also found a big box of Quaker's oat pillows- 99p for a huge box! Also healthier than a bowl of Special K. That means the precious little calories I save I get to re-distribute to more exciting lunches. For example, Melba Toast. Melba toast is like a thin, long slice of crouton. Delicious and...crunchy. BUT, with 12.8 calories a slice, I can have Cheese, Marmite, a little cream cheese on them and it makes a lovely light lunch!
Couple those delicious delicacies with some pilates or some yoga and you have a healthy little Rachie. Just want you always wanted, I know. =)
Trowbridge is the home of a wonderful, eclectic mix of beings. I say beings because not all of the eclectic mix are human. The other day, for example, I saw one of those skinny, wretched looking dogs with the whisps of long hair on its head and tail. That is not abnormal, I am sure. BUT, The long white hair on the head was dyed an aqua like green and tied up in 2 bunches. It took me a while to process exactly what I had just seen. 3 months in Trowbridge and you learn simply not to look twice.
One wonderful thing about our lives here is about our Home Teachers. They are 2 very different people. One who's Ex-Army and into guns and the other who is very mild, quiet and into films and sports, I believe. They are THE most diligent home teachers I have ever had (next to Steve Butcher). They are lovely and caring but they are so funny. One of them gets talking about the army and the other looks at me with raised eyebrows as the technological terms fly, with considerable speed, waaayyy over our head. When roles are reversed and we're talking about rugby, the other is silent. Until....the topic of westerns was broached. I have never, ever heard of a spaghetti western before in my life.
Definition: spa·ghet·ti west·ern
Noun
A western movie made cheaply in Europe by an Italian director.
This I learnt after a mildly heated discussion ensued between our wonderful Hometeachers about what defined it and whether a specific movie title would be considered a spaghetti western or not. It was not long after the silence that followed that I said, in unison with the more quiet of the two...."Ah...so, the message?"
Ha!
I have a busy couple of months ahead with some new training programmes the museum are launching for their treasured volunteers. I get on very well with the volunteer coordinator and just happened to drop in there that I teach history workshops to children and if she ever needed any help with the education side of the museum, she need only ask! She was delighted. The funniest thing though was that she had already pre-scheduled the talks and training I was to come to because my friend Penny was on them. Now I told you about Penny before but...having watched Miranda, I can now, 100% wholeheartedly say she both looks and is like Penny, Miranda's mother. It's actually uncanny. She's so funny and I am excited to be back at the museum with her!
Anyway, please await part 2 after our VIP couples make over session at the photo studio tomorrow...no doubt THAT will present some serious material! X
"PAH!" I think. "1 inch?! Are they for real?!"
Now I am in the whole weight loss zone and, if I'm honest, an inch might be a pretty nice amount to come off my waist! I've not really been measuring inches, etc. Just weight and at 9.8 1/2, I feel pretty good about myself. I made a break through with Special K though. Indeed, I broke through the Special K barrier!! I went shopping at Tesco to replenish my cereal stock. I dashed there because Special K was on offer and I wanted to stock up before the offer ends. What did I discover?? I could get the same amount of similar but healthier flakes for less money!! That's right. 4 calories less, much less sugar and saturated fat per bowl! I also found a big box of Quaker's oat pillows- 99p for a huge box! Also healthier than a bowl of Special K. That means the precious little calories I save I get to re-distribute to more exciting lunches. For example, Melba Toast. Melba toast is like a thin, long slice of crouton. Delicious and...crunchy. BUT, with 12.8 calories a slice, I can have Cheese, Marmite, a little cream cheese on them and it makes a lovely light lunch!
Couple those delicious delicacies with some pilates or some yoga and you have a healthy little Rachie. Just want you always wanted, I know. =)
Trowbridge is the home of a wonderful, eclectic mix of beings. I say beings because not all of the eclectic mix are human. The other day, for example, I saw one of those skinny, wretched looking dogs with the whisps of long hair on its head and tail. That is not abnormal, I am sure. BUT, The long white hair on the head was dyed an aqua like green and tied up in 2 bunches. It took me a while to process exactly what I had just seen. 3 months in Trowbridge and you learn simply not to look twice.
One wonderful thing about our lives here is about our Home Teachers. They are 2 very different people. One who's Ex-Army and into guns and the other who is very mild, quiet and into films and sports, I believe. They are THE most diligent home teachers I have ever had (next to Steve Butcher). They are lovely and caring but they are so funny. One of them gets talking about the army and the other looks at me with raised eyebrows as the technological terms fly, with considerable speed, waaayyy over our head. When roles are reversed and we're talking about rugby, the other is silent. Until....the topic of westerns was broached. I have never, ever heard of a spaghetti western before in my life.
Definition: spa·ghet·ti west·ern
Noun
A western movie made cheaply in Europe by an Italian director.
This I learnt after a mildly heated discussion ensued between our wonderful Hometeachers about what defined it and whether a specific movie title would be considered a spaghetti western or not. It was not long after the silence that followed that I said, in unison with the more quiet of the two...."Ah...so, the message?"
Ha!
I have a busy couple of months ahead with some new training programmes the museum are launching for their treasured volunteers. I get on very well with the volunteer coordinator and just happened to drop in there that I teach history workshops to children and if she ever needed any help with the education side of the museum, she need only ask! She was delighted. The funniest thing though was that she had already pre-scheduled the talks and training I was to come to because my friend Penny was on them. Now I told you about Penny before but...having watched Miranda, I can now, 100% wholeheartedly say she both looks and is like Penny, Miranda's mother. It's actually uncanny. She's so funny and I am excited to be back at the museum with her!
Anyway, please await part 2 after our VIP couples make over session at the photo studio tomorrow...no doubt THAT will present some serious material! X
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